I think it should be called Professional Bummism

I have discovered this interesting thing on facebook, actually about a month back already but it only occured to me to blog about it today. I firstly have to thank my mom for this because following this guy has been rather fun and as soon as I can find a way to participate better in his little experiment I intend to do so but for now blogging about him shall have to suffice.

2 Matches & a Cigarette

I Promised you all a new story so long ago and here it is, I hope you all enjoy it and I hope you don’t whine that it’s too long. Now read bitches read.

I have only this to say to you

Click it Nao

Enjoy your day

If you didn’t get it, Go here

I Have Discovered the Joy of Editing Wikipedia articles

have you ever discovered something accidently and then realised that this discovery was going to change the way you spend a lot of your time. Well that’s what happened today when a certain friend advertised a certain comical Wikipedia edit that he had made here this prompted me to first edit his horrible grammar and add a snide remark of my own. He promptly removed my snide remark and reprimanded me but this did not bother me as I started to troll Wikipedia at that moment.

Do you hate studying…because I hate studying

Guess what I am doing at the moment, come on it’s not that difficult. Oh come on guess. It’s in the title for Pete’s sake. Fine then if you aren’t going to guess then I have to tell you. I am studying, Otherwise known as the most boring activity this side of the Galaxy unless there exists a planet on our side of the galaxy where a commonly engaged activity is to repeat the word boredom to oneself for 8 hours straight.

You Fokken Creatures

Last Night I decided I would go watch District 9 seeing as I had nothing else to do. Now I had heard good things about the movie and seen that Peter Jackson produced it so this movie had quite a bit of hype to live up to. So as I sat in the movie house explaining to my mother why somebody should be excited to watch anything produced by Peter Jackson I started hoping it did live up to the hype.

Blogging about a blog

So here I am, blogging about my blog that now has a miniblog on facebook or as I think facebook likes to call them, fanpages. That’s right my blog has a fan page. I was thinking to myself, what could make me seem even more full of myself than my current actions and then the though occured to me.

So here we are, one thought later and 10 minutes of searching facebook for the page that allows you to create fan pages. Go become a fan now if you have not already. If you have then good for you, you worship me that’s great.

The Fan Page of the lair of minor and trivial evil

Well that is becoming quite the mouth full. So that’s about it for now my lackey’s. I will be returning to the writing of the romance story. May those of you who don’t become a fan die in a pit.

Moving around the furniture

Well I settled on a new theme and this one doesn’t have a header Image. Well that makes life simpler and slightly less bandwidth intensive for the cheap bastards that reside amongst my readers. So what do you think…too green. I’m thinking that if I can wrap my mind around the CSS of changing that. If you want to help me do this then don’t hesitate to offer. I mean it wouldn’t kill you to be helpful for once.

So yes new theme. Comment here to tell me what you think. I personally like how it’s much cleaner than the old one and less likely to turn you into an emo cry baby, which I really need considering the bummer of a story I have planned for next week. Here is a hint, it’s about a kid writing exams. apply the general formula of my previous depro stories and you get the general idea.

Is there anything else I wanted to say……oh yes, I am currently talking with a gentleman by the name of Ultima regarding a certain 12 kicks he will be dishing out to a certain Golradir and how I may have exclusive video content of the kicks on my blog. I say this with confidence that our golradir friend cannot run fast enough to get away from his punishment. So watch this spot because you may soon be cringing in mutual pain while watching a very horrifying video.

I think they want me dead….and romance is in the air

Good afternoon maggots, well it seems I learnt an important lesson today, a very important lesson. So where should I start the story that climaxes in this lesson, probably the beginning. So here it is.

Once upon a time……

I’m just kidding, I’m just kidding. This is how it really starts. You see I decided not 20 minutes ago that it would be a good Idea to take my dogs for a walk. To be more specific all three of my dogs. For those of you who have not become aqquainted with my babies let me introduce them to you. Firstly there is toffee, a 6 year old miniture daschund who thinks he is a 3 year old great dane. Then ofcourse there is Lulu second youngest and the biggest recluse she tends to remain quiet unless barked at which is very often if you’re a territorial Sharpei. Then there is the last member of the trifecta, youngest and most exuberant of the lot is my Labrador who goes by the name of Pavlov. Alone these dogs are pleasant to walk, even toffee if you give him the slack he wants on his leash. But I quickly discovered that this is not the matter when you attach the three of them to one person.

The walk started out with me having to disentangle the three dogs from each other…because in the process of opening the garage door they decided to run around each other. This meant that Pavlov was tied up and incapable to move and the same with lulu, all the while toffee looked at them curious from the safety of his extendable leash which on closer inspection turned out to be the culprit in this affair. So 30 seconds later the dogs were loose and promptly attempted to dislocate my shoulder BUT to no avail and I started to walk down the street.

The walk went okay for a short while until that is the lock on Toffee’s leash slipped for a brief second and he gained a metre and a half of slack. Now I had to somehow regain the slack on his leash without dropping the other dog’s leashes. This proved to be impossible as I dropped lulu’s leash. She trotted on unaware of the situation, that is until I called out to her to come back. It is at this point that she looked back nervously and increased her pace, so I pulled a dangerous maneouvre and took one giant step onto her leash which prompted her to yelp in shock and I picked it up.

But this was not the end of my woes because it was at this moment that I spied in the distance the most dangerous thing to the urban dogwalker…a teenage girl. This would not have bothered me much had she been attractive because dogs tend to provide a good conversation opener but alas this was not the case and ontop of this pavlov had just seen this human which he could ambush with a jump and slobber. So I try to play it cool, I hold pavlov leash close and walk on past her, It is at this point that pavlov makes a run for it and this time very nearly does manage to rip my arm from my shoulder socket. she says “awww what a cute puppy” and I reply with a half hearted “yeah…” then continue walking on and luckily with no more distractions…except ofcourse for the two cars that nearly run over the dogs, but those are a given.

So I survived and I am rather happy that I did, the dogs are happy and using each other as pillows so overall a successful endeavour but I’ll shoot myself in the left testicle before I do it again.

So on that note of removing my manhood I must turn to another topic. The romance story I am meant to write. I looked over the entries and barring tristan’s plagarism of Cheesys and I have decided upon a winner…namely the person whose Idea was so good is got plagarised. So Cheesys you won the contest, I will be commencing on the story shortly and when it is finished there will be a signed copy made for you. the first piece of fiction I will have ever signed. Try and organise something with your sister to get it so I can give it to you and pay off my pancake debt at the same time.

Now I need to do that other thing that’s hounding me….School work, wish me luck.

It’s About time

So there I was staring at my blog and this thought popped into my head…god this theme is dull. So here is what I want to do. I want to change the theme. I’ll be looking around the interwebs for different wordpress themes and for those of you who are so inclined you may do the same. If you find one I like I may use it. If you make one I like (I think some of you know CSS) then I’ll advertise you on my blog and you could use my blog as an example of your handiwork.

I will also be looking for a new Header Image as I am getting sick of the plain black thing. If any of you feel so charitable as to make something for me then that would be awesome and you might not be a complete at life. Anything that goes with the general theme and name of my blog will be accepted. Same applies with the header image. make something I will use then I will put a link to your blog, deviant art page or wherever else you feel inclined for me to link…and no that doesn’t mean your favourite porn site.

While I’m writing I might aswell make this atleast 400 words I mean otherwise this looks more like a blurb than a blog post.

Last night was My matric Dinner, can’t really call it a dance seeing as it happened in a restaurant. the very elegant, very smooth Pigalles. A restaurant so french I spent most of the time conversing with the waiters in french. Interesting happenings for the evening included me accidently giving my waiter a 100% tip on a bottle of grapetiser, that guy must have been happy. Otherwise the evening was pretty mellow but filled with awesome conversation, provided mainly by the lovely joelle. Joelle say hi to everyone (comment on the blog post silly.) Then ofcourse there was the other fellow whom i spent muuch of the evening talking to…..crap let me check facebook I forget your name again old chap. Ah yes Reagen, sorry about that. Don’t take too much offence I forget names easily unless they’re branded into my ass…and that only happened the one time. So where was I, oh yes conversation and then once dinner was over ( and it was delicious, one of the best steaks I have ever had) we headed off to FTV for dancing and good times and these were indeed had…until some drunken boob thought FTV was not good enough and I ended up walking halfway across town, paying 20 bucks and all to get into a club that smealt like a brothel in amsterdam (that’s a weed reference mostly for those of you lacking in the mental faculties) but all is well because overall…despite a chocolate nearly ruining my jacket I had a great time.

So may you all live long and prosper I am now going to watch torchwood because I think sci-fi needs to be 45 minutes of sexual tension…between men.