Poker Night, The aftermath

Poker Night October

Here I am, poker night. I have decided to document this month’s poker month. This is probably one of those drunken Ideas I will later regret but mostly it’s so that I know what happened if I happen to forget. So here we are. I am starting the Documentation

Hour 1

Already I am feeling slightly tipsy and the crowd is starting to build, I am drinking a single vodka Power Play. People here so far are three people whose names I do not currently know, Kyle, Ashley and Tessa. I arrived with Sergei and I expect he is outside. More is to follow as the evening progresses.

Sometime Later

Rudi has arrived and soon the poker will begin. By now I have lost feeling in my cheeks and I think I will not walk away with any of the money I have reserved for poker.  My drink is becoming empty. Soon I will replace it with a new one. Maybe asking for someone’s coke would be prudent instead of having more Power Play (I didn’t follow my own advice and it ended up seriously fucking me over). Now I must put away the laptop and participate socially.

Poker Begins

I have begun playing the poker and as expected things are not going well, I expect I will not be coming out on top tonight. Though fate has often thrown me unexpected curveballs and this hand is proving in my favour and I think most of the players do not expect this. I change that prognosis as I have just lost. Straight to a straight flush 2 to 6. This is a saddening experience and one I shall take much from.

The time is 23:15, and poker is over. We are now moving to Springbok’s where rudi has volunteered to pay for my double cane and crème soda. I am rather looking forward to this prospect as I have never drunk cane before. I will update you all later about how this has resulted. Until now I wish you farewell. If I do not survive I expect my mom to post this. I hope I feel Okay in the morning.

Well after that there was nothing more. I woke up the next morning and I was not okay. I went to the bathroom four times to empty my bowels and my back decided that it hated me but then again it probably had good reason. I have decided to leave the above text as it is with only grammar adjustments and I will fill you in on the details down here.

My luck did not change that night, nor did my skill and so I lost my 50 rand investment in close to 10 minutes maybe it was more. I very much enjoyed the long talk I had with Ashley, It was a rather eye opening experience and certainly brought about some new Ideas to the table about what life is.

Rudi started hallucinating because he claimed he was giving me vodka shots for the length of the night and for a while I was quite worried because I couldn’t remember this but I have decided to discount this Idea as no one else can remember such an occurrence.

Springbok’s was fun, although I did not get nearly as many drinks as everyone else there so I was a bit of a sad panda because of that but I guess it was for the best considering what state I was already in at the time.

Once I started to sober up just enough to feel what I was doing to my digestive system, and my head I then started to mellow down quite a bit…I think.

Sleep was atrocious, both me and Kyle nearly died from the smell of Sergei’s feet and I suspect Cecile is still trying to get the smell out of her sofa pillows.

Once the morning was upon us though it was time to Jump start Kyle’s car which despite none of us having experience in that field we managed to do on the first try without blowing anything up.

Then poker was over, with that final step of moving into our respective vehicles or for those of us without vehicles, (me) Sergei’s car.

It was epic and I look forward to next month when I hope to get my money back as well as forcing more people to write Testimonials. Speaking of which here is what was said.

Rudi

I felt I had to type something because Bertie is getting real drunk now. I feel insulted cause Bertie just called me Sergei. I wasn’t planning on coming tonight because I had a kak test. Sergei called me to many times and I decided fuck this shit I’m going to party with my friends. Now after a few Foundries and Kyle’s wine and coke I feel good and happy. And I’m sorry I didn’t bring my “friend” although you all got the wrong impression. She is not my girlfriend… yet. Now I’m going to go get Bertie drunk so expect some nice new entries.

I promise to all those loyal readers that I will get your Blogger drunk. Creme Soda and Double Kane for all the non-stellies people. People live long and prosper. Death to the infidels.

Kyle

OMG I’m blogging on some one elses LAPTOP!! This is like stealing someones women and CALLING him and saying thanx for the trip ^^! But not really I’m not that bad…… Well….. maybe I am hehe… Anyways the night. Firstly I’d like to thank a legendary HOST by the name of Ajay! Infact he’s so legendary he deserves a Suit covered in the ash of Kanye West after his great cremation. Though TBH i’d prefer just buying him a 2 sets of swords to have a wait… wait for it LLEEEGGEN REFER to How I met your mother season one haha.

No now really this night has been epic to a noob he just won R140 and some awesome company. Ta people and have a good one!

I have only this to say to you

Click it Nao

Enjoy your day

If you didn’t get it, Go here

Blogging about a blog

So here I am, blogging about my blog that now has a miniblog on facebook or as I think facebook likes to call them, fanpages. That’s right my blog has a fan page. I was thinking to myself, what could make me seem even more full of myself than my current actions and then the though occured to me.

So here we are, one thought later and 10 minutes of searching facebook for the page that allows you to create fan pages. Go become a fan now if you have not already. If you have then good for you, you worship me that’s great.

The Fan Page of the lair of minor and trivial evil

Well that is becoming quite the mouth full. So that’s about it for now my lackey’s. I will be returning to the writing of the romance story. May those of you who don’t become a fan die in a pit.

It’s About time

So there I was staring at my blog and this thought popped into my head…god this theme is dull. So here is what I want to do. I want to change the theme. I’ll be looking around the interwebs for different wordpress themes and for those of you who are so inclined you may do the same. If you find one I like I may use it. If you make one I like (I think some of you know CSS) then I’ll advertise you on my blog and you could use my blog as an example of your handiwork.

I will also be looking for a new Header Image as I am getting sick of the plain black thing. If any of you feel so charitable as to make something for me then that would be awesome and you might not be a complete at life. Anything that goes with the general theme and name of my blog will be accepted. Same applies with the header image. make something I will use then I will put a link to your blog, deviant art page or wherever else you feel inclined for me to link…and no that doesn’t mean your favourite porn site.

While I’m writing I might aswell make this atleast 400 words I mean otherwise this looks more like a blurb than a blog post.

Last night was My matric Dinner, can’t really call it a dance seeing as it happened in a restaurant. the very elegant, very smooth Pigalles. A restaurant so french I spent most of the time conversing with the waiters in french. Interesting happenings for the evening included me accidently giving my waiter a 100% tip on a bottle of grapetiser, that guy must have been happy. Otherwise the evening was pretty mellow but filled with awesome conversation, provided mainly by the lovely joelle. Joelle say hi to everyone (comment on the blog post silly.) Then ofcourse there was the other fellow whom i spent muuch of the evening talking to…..crap let me check facebook I forget your name again old chap. Ah yes Reagen, sorry about that. Don’t take too much offence I forget names easily unless they’re branded into my ass…and that only happened the one time. So where was I, oh yes conversation and then once dinner was over ( and it was delicious, one of the best steaks I have ever had) we headed off to FTV for dancing and good times and these were indeed had…until some drunken boob thought FTV was not good enough and I ended up walking halfway across town, paying 20 bucks and all to get into a club that smealt like a brothel in amsterdam (that’s a weed reference mostly for those of you lacking in the mental faculties) but all is well because overall…despite a chocolate nearly ruining my jacket I had a great time.

So may you all live long and prosper I am now going to watch torchwood because I think sci-fi needs to be 45 minutes of sexual tension…between men.

I need YOU!!!

So I need to prove a point to a friend of mine…namely that in order to write a Romance story you barely need to be trying to get something that teenage girls everywhere will Jizz over. So I decided that I woul d make this a sort of bring my readers together and actually get you bitches to comment, so here is my plan:

Comment with ideas for a possible scene of the romance story, plot, characters. whatever you want and I will take it all into consideration. Even give me a minimum or maximum word count. Once I am done I will post the story on the blog aswell as the link on various Girly girl sites, like the twilight forums and whatnot.

So give me Ideas, Characters, sites to post it on when finished and lets see if I can prove this point. I am currently also staring at a second blank Microsoft word document and hope that soon it will contain a story that turns your hair black and inclined to cover one of your eyes.

Here is a final Motivation…person whose Idea I pick to write gets a signed copy of the piece…not that this will be much motivation but what the heck I feel like signing something, it makes me feel important.

Vampyres – A story of human stupidty

Vampyres, or as I like to spell it Vampire so that is doesn’t sound like some derivative off a large ceremonial fire made to burn bodies of the dead, are something which have interested me in passing for many years. Now for a period of time I had more than a mild interest. I became one of the retarded masses who believed they actually existed going to the extent of thinking that I may even be one myself. The fact I left this phase with my dignity intact is a miracle to behold but my story is not what I want to talk about, I want to talk about someone else. Someone who I had the good grace to accept as a contact on MSN. She has provided me with well the material for this post. so let me get started.

This Unfortunate female believes she is a vampire, sorry vampyre because apparently mild dyslexia is a symptom of vampirisim. I know people have been emulating the behaviour of vampires for generations going as far back as the first time they were mentioned in history as folklore and mythology but the saddening thing is the pathetic ness of the emulation that we find in today’s youth. I mean, this person whom I assume is part of a larger group of misled and slightly mentally absent children is under the impression that drinking blood is not a necessity for vampires and merely a personal choice. Now this is great news for small woodland animals everywhere but is rather saddening at the same time, I mean if parents don’t get to scream in fear as they accidentally walk into their childrens rooms while these children happen to be gorging themselves on the small body of a very unfortunate squirrel where is the fun in vampirism. Now I will admit I never got this far myself but then again I didn’t really believe the stuff even at my most indoctrinated.

The next worrying point and one I brought up at the beginning is the spelling of the Bloody word. IT’S VAMPIRE NOT VAMPYRE you retarded maggots. these children believe they create and entirely new class of vampires by changing a letter in the name. they think they Y sounds more mystical and this is just perverting a perfectly good word because to be honest vampires were originally meant to be the unholy soulless damned who roamed the  earth sucking the blood of innocent mortals to keep themselves alive not kiddies wearing black make up and creating fantasies because they find their lives boring and need something to spice them up.

So why do I have a problem with this wave of fascination towards vampire you ask? you say you don’t and that I am putting words in your mouth, suck it up that’s how it works on my blog. Well here it is. This new generation vampirism is killing what I find to be one of the most awesome mythologies in the world, this has resulted in such misguided reinventions of vampires as I have previously described but it also results in the unfortunate thing Called the twilight novels. Now I will not go into detail on the matter of the twilight novels because I fear for my life but I must say this at least. as a romance story I have no commentary on Twilight and it’s unfortunate sequels but as a work of fantasy I have one thing to say…VAMPIRES DO NOT FUCKING SPARKLE. That is all I will say on the matter and I think everyone will agree with me on that point…that is those of you whose brains have not started rotting yet.

If you will excuse me I am now going to go watch the few episodes of trueblood I have so I can renew my faith in modern vampire fiction works. Oh and I am coming for you…you know who you are and your True Blood episodes are mine.

And….We’re Back

So I went to OC this weekend. I realise I neglected to explain this phenomena so I will explain and then proceed to gush about how awesome it is.

OC, is short for Organised Chaos. It is a monthly LAN (Big party where people bring PC’s and play games. If you don’t know that I don’t know why you are on my blog.) held at the Bellville Veladrome and it is also the most awesome place in the world.You meet get to spend time with friends, play games and a variety of other things.

So I went this weekend and I think I may have actually orgasmed from the amount of fun I had. That or I lost bladder control I am not too sure. I think I may have frozen off a toe from the cold in that hall and I don’t care. I got to spend time with basically all my favourite people in the world and meet some new ones.

I feel like writing a fiction piece now So I think tomorow you can all expect something though I don’t make any promises. Afrikaans does tend to put me off activities of all sorts.

So as per usual I say hi to all my regular readers and sav who is checking in on the blog tonight. *waves* hi.

I’ve Been thinking (Uh oh)

So I’ve been thinking these past few days, about many different things. Mostly though my thoughts have centred around what Direction I want to take this blog. For the moment I can take it in any direction I want really considering I can count all my regular readers on one hand. Speaking of which, Hello Catherine, Casey, Cub person, Tristan and my mom. So that’s bothering me and will probably continue to bother me for a while to come.

On a completely unrelated note, It has come to my attention that I can’t actually write interesting blog like posts so I will shortly be returning to my fiction and philosophical pieces which people actually compliment. I just need a motivation such as attracting actual readers. This means I am going to have to make effort to get the readers which will make me make an effort to write. Why the hell does this have to be so F!@king complicated. I wonder how these other blogs get themselves to have such large representations so quickly. I can’t use stumble because well I would hate to have to do actual work for something I use to relax plus from the looks of it you need friends on stumble in order to get viewers to the pages you subscribe initially.

So I am going to leave you all (5 of you) for now and I am going to go find my pants, curse the long trek across my room.

How do they do it?

So today happened, that’s pretty much the only way it can be described. Nothing particularly eventful happened but I can safely say that my hair’s attempt to make me look like a wookie has once again been foiled. Since I have made no mention of this before I must tell you that my hair hates me and tries to make me look like a cross between a wookie and Napoleon Dynamite. I might put up a picture if I am feeling particularly self destructive.So yes haircut was done this is awesome.

A bottle of vodka which has been resting at a friend’s house is now safely in my posession and cooling in the fridge. It shall be of use in a few weeks time.

On a more destructive note (yes more destructive than vodka.), I am now in posession of 2 cigars that I intend to smoke with my best fwend (yes I did just do that).

That’s all for today. Tune in next time for more boring shit about my life. I might actually post something interesting tomorow though so keep an eye out.

Precipice

That towering monster, below it I have lived. Always looking up but never seeing. What is atop that great precipice? What stands at the highest of highest peaks, perhaps something, perhaps nothing? What is there does not matter only that I must know.

So I climb. For days the rocks bite into my hands but the pain leaves my hands in a stream of blood that finds its way back to the earth. To where I was, to where I shall never return. The pain does return, brief visits that remind me of my humanity. Days turn to weeks as I climb from cliff face to mountain pass only to find myself at the foot of another cliff face. The nights are cold and bitter, they tear at my resolve but I continue. For such forces to work against me a truly magnificent Discovery must wait. My hands are hard now, they feel pain no longer but the pain still visits. Every day I struggle harder to awake.

I thought I made it today but I was wrong, I stood atop the last cliff and I thought that I was done but as I looked across the barren desert in front of me I could make out huge peaks in the distance. I must reach the top. If I do not reach the top my journey is for naught, so I walk and I walk.

I have not seen water in days and food in weeks, I don’t think I have the strength to continue but I must persevere even if this drags me to oblivion. I met a man today he smiled at me knowingly a smile that scared me. But I ignore my mind for it has become unreliable and the man has food. He gave offers me meat and bread, I thank him, eating my fill when I look up he is gone. I am Invigorated, the mountain is closer now soon I will be there then the climb will begin again.

I am here, this towering behemoth before me is nothing like what I have climbed before. I survive on parcels of food left beside me while I sleep. I commence my climb and all my old aches return, I even feel pain in my hands again. It is good to know I am still alive. I have lost track of time, I do not remember when I started or how long I have been climbing. It is all I know walking and climbing. Much time has passed and that is all I know, I know I had a life before climbing, before walking but I do not remember it. This journey is who I have become; I only hope that I can remember my destination when I see it.

As I reach the top this cliff I see a package awaiting me. I remember these from a time before this mountain, images of a land so flat you could see the horizon all around you but I cannot remember much more than that. I bite into some dried meat and wash it down with water, my memory does not clear but a feeling in the back of my mind tells me I am nearly where I must be. I stumble forward.

I see in front of me a hill, a comfortable walk for any man in good condition but it is hell for my tortured body. I walk for a while before I fall to my knees so I crawl then as my knees give way I drag myself forward. The last rays of sunshine fall on my head as I pass out.

A voice awakens me; I recognise it from a long time ago. The voice asks me the question “Was the climb worth it, was the journey worth what is now before you?”

I lift my head from the dirt and direct it towards the warmth and as I open my eyes I reply “I cannot know for I cannot see.”