As the few readers i have may know i was away for the weekend. to be more specific i was at a LAN, it was as i aided in the packing up that inspiration struck. Expect a musical on lanning soon.
Know I knew I had to write something or else this would never end but here it is, I have writers Block at the moment my imagination has died on me. Why i do not know. For the few readers who pay attention to this blog please know that I will probably be up and running on Monday. Anyway i am nowhere near an interenet connection this weekend so it wasn’t in the equation to start with.
Just had to post something, So anyway everyone enjoy your weekends.
Well it would appear my only regularly commenting reader has requested a picture of my gf. So I have decided to wet his appetite and do this for him. here is a picture of me and the girlfriend.
I have been a silent supporter of his great noodlyness the Flying Spaghetti. Now those of you who do not know what the Flying Spaghetti monster is read on, those who do read on anyway.
The FSM was originally made to prove a point now he has over 2 millions believers, the goal of Pastafarians is to make Pastafanarianism as large a religion as christianity.
so head off to www.venganza.org and show your support to his great noodlyness.
If there is one site that seems to give one all the information they need about sex and a whole bunch of other stuff for teenager regarding their bodies and puberty it has to be scarleteen. this link is going up on the list of must know links.
So all you horny teenagers like me who have no idea what the fuck you are doing go there.
Now i know this is a bit off topic from the blog but please bare with me.
Now I will not deny that I am that kid at school that people avoid because he uses big words and keeps referring to some Sci-Fi series or other. the one that keeps making references to some funny book called the Hitch Hikers Guide To the galaxy.
It is for this reason that i am so ecstatic that i have found a female equivalent like me who is also like that. I have found love. Now for those of you who are like me but have yet to find your other half I have something to say to you, it is worth the wait and the teasing, to find a person you can truly relate to on an intellectual level, not to mention it makes the Online role playing with them much better as well because they actually have grammar & spelling skills.
I would also like to say that it is pretty awesome to find a chick that will willingly watch Wayne’s world with you, if you are not a Wayne’s world fan just imagine a really awesome movie that girls seem to refuse to watch.
Anyway Over and Out
The Evilbelgian
here is a story I just wrote today, hope you guys enjoy it.
I spent my life being told that everything I did was for god, some supreme being who would honour me one day for all I did for him. I read the word that he had written with the hand of man and followed its principals. I learnt that the word had been written cryptically for our lord was a complex being and explained things in complex ways.
What was certain despite all the confusion and interpretations of the Bible was that Sinners had to be saved and if they would not be saved they must be punished.
I left the place of my birth for the first time when I was 18 years old, a young man capable of doing the hard work the lord had in store for me. I left with nothing but a bible in my hand and communion to hand out to the first village on my journey. I walked a long road on my journey, seeing the wonders of the lord’s creation on my way. I saw flowers of exquisite beauty bloom and turn towards the light for sustenance and energy, I found I could not do the same and took it for a sign, we, our Lord’s greatest creation, had grown incapable of looking into the light for fear of being blinded. We had become unworthy. I became determined to become worthy, to be able to look into the light without being blinded.
Along my Journey I visited many villages. Villagers embraced the good lord, my hand feeding them their first communion, there were some who would not follow his word but they eventually saw the way of the lord and those that didn’t well they would see their just punishment in hell. I gained many followers as I travelled the roads, soon I had over 4 dozen people in my permanent congregation and they helped me to convert the masses and to punish those that would not be converted.
I followed the road the lord lay before me, converting the masses until I arrived here. I did what I always did I started to convert the masses but soon found that many people here already knew of the good lord and thought that there was no work for me to do here. Then I learnt that many here knew of the lord but refused to acknowledge him, worship him. So I did what I always did when I found sinners who would not renounce evil I showed them the punishment that came with such evil. I am certain now that the lord has granted me the rest I need after the long years I have served his purpose, I am now worthy of looking into the light.
“dude that guy is fucked in his head” the inmates said as they walked away from the cell of the young man with blonde locks, they looked back one last time as they made the way to their cells and they were certain that they saw blood on the corner of the bible that was firmly clasped in the hands of the smiling boy.
I was going to try send this one into a magazine but I haven’t updated in a while so i decided to post here and see what people think of it instead. It is a bit longer than my other post so long but still relatively short.
We are all creatures of emotion, some to greater extent than other. Some learn to control that aspect of themselves while others are governed entirely by their current emotional state. In any case we all learn in one way or another to deal with them.
For Albert Samson he spent his life ignoring his emotions, every insult tucked away into a box, every failed relationship he pretended didn’t affect him and every rejection didn’t faze him. He spent his entire life ignoring his emotions and this is the story of just one of those days.
It started out as a pleasant Sunday morning. Albert woke up early to get breakfast ready for his wife. He sat on the side of his bed and stretched, tired muscles slowly waking up. He made his way to the bathroom his feet dragging along the old musty carpet and stopped in front of the sink, grabbing his toothbrush he put a generous squirt of toothpaste on then as he started to brush his teeth, he then turned on the shower to give the water some time to warm up. He spat into the sink then rinsed out his mouth with a cold cup of water from the tap. Slowly he stripped down, his old muscles making the activity more strenuous than it used to be in his youth. Eventually in the nude he steps into the near scalding shower and starts scrubbing himself down, in every nook and cranny. Satisfied with his handiwork ten minutes later he is out of the shower and dresses himself in his Sunday outfit. Kissing his wife on the cheek, he then makes his way out of the house leaving a note in the foyer telling her he has gone out to get breakfast.
As he made his way down the street, he whistled to himself a pleasant tune he’d heard many years ago. Waving to neighbours as he passed the houses he reminisced on his life as he always did on Sundays, seeing only the good that had happened to him all his time on earth. If there was something people could say about Samson is he didn’t hold a grudge, heck he probably wouldn’t hold you accountable for what you said mere moments ago, people liked that in mister Samson, they didn’t feel like the horrible people they thought they were when they were around him.
So Mister Albert Samson walked down the street looking at the fine marks in the pavement, signs of age and use. Similar marks riddled his face, creases, wrinkles and liver spots signs of a long life. He looked up from the pavement to see he had made it to the village corner store. He greeted the boy at the till, suddenly thinking of his own children and just for the briefest of moments wondering why he hadn’t heard from them in so long. He made his way to the back of the store where a small bakery resided and asked for 2 croissants, thanking the baker as he took the small brown packet proffered to him. He stopped at the fridges and grabbed a bottle of milk, remembering for a moment his short stint as a milkman and the abrupt termination of his job, for a reason he had forgotten.
He laid the items down on the till, pulling out his wallet as the till boy scanned his items. He pays in cash, 25 rand for 2 croissants and a bottle of milk. He looks back fondly on the days when you could buy the same items for only 2 rand. He takes the plastic bag offered to him and he leaves the store, taking the same route back home, admiring the houses on his street and imagining what those still being built will look like.
He was soon in front of his house again, the house he had lived in for over 25 years and spent nearly half of that time paying off. He remembered how the bank had given him the worst possible interest rate on his loan and how each time he thought he was nearly done paying it off, the interest was calculated and added to the amount owed.
He opened the door to his house entering quickly and closing the door behind him so as to not let any of the warmth out of the house. He noticed the note had been read and thrown in the small waste basket in the foyer, so he made his way to the kitchen where his wife would be undoubtedly getting the table ready for breakfast. He made sure to take off his shoes first and to put on some slippers. As he reached his wife in the kitchen, he kisses her lightly on the cheek, jolting her slightly. She turned around immediately a look of irritation plastered on her face, she put down the knife she had been using to cut fruit and gave her husband a look of annoyance “I told you that I wanted to go get Breakfast this morning, you were meant to wake me up if you got up before me. Can you do nothing right you lumbering oaf” she spat this out in a high pitched squeak and Albert looked on in disbelief at his wife, surprising considering she did this practically every Sunday. It was at this moment that 65 year of oppressed abuse from everyone in his life came back.
Albert was found that afternoon sitting in his kitchen covered in blood and crying. Pieces of his wife were removed from the garbage disposal system and the rest had been hacked up and thrown in the bin.
I will be starting soon some short stories about a new character I developing. Sir Waffles protector of Belgium. It will just be comical little stories that i will write when i feel like it. I will probably update later today with the first story.
I have decided to do my part to aid the internet community by posting in my links category all the links I think people need to know.
This will start out at first with the more obvious ones but i will update to stuff that is slightly more obscure as i remember the addressess.
If you think there is a link that no one can do without then post a comment with that address and if I find it worthwhile I will add it to the links.
